One Time...I think this is a promise.

Ok, so yes I am a server. Is it my dream job? No. But it is what I do right now and I actually enjoy it 95% of the time. And I am not one of those people that likes to rant about idiots that come into my restaurant and act a fool, but I have had two incidents in the last two days and am super annoyed.
First of all, let me clarify. I am a late night googler. So I googled myself into some forums where servers sound off and sometimes a layperson or two will put in their two sense as well. A big topic is what servers actually see on their paychecks. Many people who have never waited tables simply refuse to believe that we don't see any money on our checks. This is a fact, people! One forum claimed that the average server receives six dollars every two weeks on their paychecks. While I cannot verify this statistic, I was infuriated to see someone say "Six dollars? Maybe in 1950!"
Newsflash: The year is 2010 and my last 5 paychecks have indeed averaged 8 dollars! I get paid 2.13/hour, which pretty much is taken up entirely by taxes, and I used to have insurance so my check would literally read "this is not a check". I rely solely on tips for my income, and I do have to say I have been pretty lucky to land myself in a decent restaurant so I don't often have to deal with too many shenanigans from the patrons.
I don't usually get upset by bad tippers. If I can squint my eyes and pretend that it is a 15 percent tip, I'm happy. If it's lower, I roll my eyes and move on with my life, no biggie. If it's higher, great. The good usually averages the bad.
Yesterday, a gentleman got upset over an 18% gratuity that had been added to his party's check. He told the manager that I, the lucky server, wasn't worth the 32.00 tip, but wasn't able to say that anything was wrong with the service. Only that there was a hair in his food, which we had already comped, and I actually never touched, so the hair clearly wasn't mine. When he finally got his way, which of course the guest always does, he tried to say it wasn't about the money, he just didn't want a restaurant to dictate to him how to tip.
Dear Mr. L___, it is because of people like you that restaurants started to add automatic gratuity. Yours truly, Me.
Tonight, a woman came out with her family to celebrate her 50th birthday. At my restaurant we send anyone on our mailing list a voucher for a free dinner on their birthday (up to 25 dollars...read the fine print, folks!). Great, no problem, except...*gasp* she left her card at home! I really don't care if people use coupons, we have a ton of them so I am used to it. I take down her e-mail address and promise to go make a plea to a manager on her behalf. I left the table confident that he'll do it, we pretty much let people get away with murder, but he threw me a curveball and shot me down! Well, shoot, nothing to do but try to discreetly let the lady know that I can't help her. Little did I know, that throughout the rest of the meal she was withholding her anger and just itching to call in a complaint! You would think that after I handled all the special requests, promptly refilled their drinks, bought their dessert, brought out said dessert with a candle lit by yours truly, sincerely thanked them and expressed a wish to see them again, she would have gotten over the fact that she couldn't use her coupon, but no. No sooner did she get home, than she got on the horn with the other manager tonight and wanted to complain about me telling her two different things.
Dear Mrs. M_____, You're right. It's my fault that your kitchen counter somehow ate your coupon. It's also my fault that the first manager I could find arbitrarily felt like being a stickler for the rules. I've been told before that we could look you up if you didn't have your voucher. And then I was told something different. Who should I call to complain? I'd really like to know. Thanks!, Me.

Well, folks that's all for now. More to come I'm sure. I hope everyone had a happy halloween and my goal for next year all boils down to one word: cake-o-lantern.